In my head

Roughly a year ago the hubs and I gave some money to the church. Well, we oughtn’t boast in our giving, and so I won’t give you any amounts, all I can say is that it was a sum leading us to live off of about 25€ a week for several weeks. In that time we began to pray for my debts to disappear. My husband paid a great price for me, quite biblical, don’t you think?

I started to believe for the very sum to come in, yet the hubz was pushing bad. Over the course of roughly eight weeks my boundaries were going from a five figure sum up to a double digit million sum, at least in my head. I encountered several walls in my head, a real fear of big money, and I saw the hubz fearlessly marching ahead.

He surely has no fear of big money, there, I said it. Over the following year we really dug deep into the subject of big money, what to do with it, where to invest it, how to behave, who to bless etc. I started making lists on where the money would go, and they changed quite considerable over the year. Big money truly does not frighten me any more. Quite a step from thinking that money really is what’s wrong with the world.

The two years prior to that I worked in the most luxury store around and I served the richest and most powerful people this country has to offer. I got a great insight in what not to do with big money, let me tell you. Ripping people off is one of them, and rubbing it into other peoples faces is another. One more is trying to impress others, the biggest waste of money there is.

Now let me tell you, I feel as though we are the owners of a double digit million sum, imagine. This pondering on the big money has opened my heart, for I began to consider that I do not have to have the big sums in order to bless people, I can use the little I have. And let me tell you, nothing makes me feel richer than giving money away. Strange paradox, for sure. And the day the double digits arrive,, we simply have more to give away. Like the hubz said, it’s only a tool, like a hammer, nothing more, nothing less.



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